Growing up it was difficult, very difficult. I’m not sure how I survived it to be honest as does my husband. Not only that but manage to achieve anything that I did. My brother didn’t. I’m not sure how much I will blog about the going’s on, I’m a private person, it’s hard for me to talk about things that pain me and hard for me to share them with others. So much so that I’m ‘careful’ with the words I use when talking about such things but after all these years things have come to such a head with my emotions that there is a need for me to address it because it is hindering my life. I also came across literature & lectures by a man named Guy Winch, I’ve found it very beneficial in helping me understand and deal with my emotions in a practical way. I’m currently reading his book – Emotional First Aid: Healing, Rejection, Guilt, Failure and Other Everyday Hurts, I plan on reviewing it for my blog.

I can’t remember how I came across Babar Ahmad, Omar Khadr, Shaker Aamer et al maybe it was the infamous images coming out about Guantanamo Bay. Grown men hooded with ear muffs on in the orange jumpsuit that has become synonymous with the detention centre and the war on terror the world over. Forced to sit on their knees and legs in stress positions in cages in the heat with guards walking around and I was wondering what the hell is all this. A relative’s husband also works for one of the organisations and would talk about the organisation and the plights of the people they were trying to aid. I also ‘discovered’ Islam after a series of events, I’m not a revert but wasn’t raised in an Islamic household at all.

I did further research and reading and further and further, hearing and reading about their plights and the extreme difficulties that they have been through that hardly any of us would ever experience, God willing. I saw that in spite of all of this they still have a wonderful character with a positive outlook on life.  Wanting to not just exist after all of it but to make something positive out of their lives and others, still treat people with respect and kindness after so many have hurt and harmed them.  This made me gravitate towards them and be very inspired.  After all the damage done it is so easy to look at life negatively, full of anger, hurt, questioning why me repeatedly, resentful rejected and dejected, your mind can take over your whole body but they refuse to live like that. They refuse to just exist but to seek out good deeds, still have a firm belief and trust in God that everything good and bad has a wisdom behind it even though we may never understand we trust that God knows what is best for us and they to continue to smile 🙂

Growing up, I asked why me all the time and felt very isolated. People around me seemed to have normal happy lives and I was going through difficulty. It made me angry, I still have a lot of these emotions it doesn’t all just go away but I do think to myself if people like them that have been through far worse than me CHOOSE to live their lives trying to make the best out of their circumstances then so should I because being unhappy, angry and bitter is just harming me the most.

The latest with Babar, he currently has a blog and is writing a book about his experiences you can find him on social media. I highly recommend reading his blog, fascinating awe inspiring stuff. Omar has received a $10 million settlement and an apology from the Canadian government for their terrible treatment of him and Shaker is being Shaker helping people at every turn he gets, Allah bless them and us.

Also, please make a Dua for my brother who died, it’s strange, he died when I was roughly 14 I can’t remember properly but I still think about him and pray for him and still miss him, his name was Babar.