2024 an ongoing live-streamed genocide in Palestine, Sudan, and Congo, on the cusp of World War 3, the end times, it doesn’t feel like a very happy new year at all, forget about resolutions.

In the Xmas holidays, we had plans to see family & do stuff because it’s the only time I have to do anything recreational but like every half term somebody becomes sick; we become burnt out from term time because it’s so busy and so intense. I was sick on Xmas day in bed with fever on antibiotics so I just watched movies, slept, rested but still tried to get in a load of washing. It was kinda relaxing to be honest and when it’s dark and cold I don’t even want to be outside I hibernate in winter like a bear. 

I did manage to visit family and was checking messages from my aunts & uncle who I haven’t seen since I was a little kid, I can’t even really remember them but they send old family photos which are soo nostalgic. Photos they have of me when I was a child and it’s crazy to me that 1) they can even find these old photos or remember they have them unless they have them organized really well in photo albums and 2) I was thinking I look like my youngest daughter finally, after years of thinking and everyone else saying the kids look like my husband.

Looking at the photos of me when I was a child I realised that I’m somebody’s dream too. Be it my mother, father, my grandparents, a man envisioning his dream wife, whoever but people have hopes and dreams for me too, prayers too.  

They have dreams of what job I would have, marriage, kids and for me to be happy. The same hopes and dreams I have for my children and you all have for your children like everyone, we are not so different from each other. 

I feel like I owe it to my parents and my grandparents and those who have come before me to contribute something positive to society and community the way they did. Even if it means being happy and positive (not all the time became obviously I’m human Lord) because none of us want to see our kids down and depressed all the time. 

If we do not achieve any of our own personal dreams, our children become our hopes and dreams (those that have them) and we want them to go on and do what we didn’t or couldn’t.  

T photo I took of a necklace my father gave me when I was a teen, I remember he bought it from abroad, a gold necklace with a S for my name. I broke the chain but still have the S that I just started wearing again It was sitting in my jewellery box for years. Also an engraved bracelet my mum gave me and how they show their love. You think about your dream man, woman, job, children, house, location but don’t think they’re also thinking about you too.

I hope to honor their dreams God willing the best I can each day and not every day is a good day but that’s ok. We can see from the worst atrocities I’ve ever witnessed in my life the Palestinians are still behaving as the moral compass for humanity, they are the best of us. 

Any action is often better than no action especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time, If it is a mistake at least you learn something in which case it’s no longer a mistake, if you remain stuck you learn nothing – Eckhart Tolle 

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