I have so many bad habits. I’m not trying to start this Blog on a downer but I have to tell the truth.
It’s the end of the year, 2020 is on the horizon and with a new year it’s always a fresh start.
These bad habits/addictions are affecting and hindering my life, even my thoughts which affect me internally and if I’m not right on the inside I’m not right. I need to put a stop to these habits if I want to get to where I want to be. But that doesn’t happen in the space of a day. It’s consistent small daily changes and sticking to them to form good habits.
When you have bad habits or good habits your mind becomes wired like that, it’s second nature you don’t even think about it you just make it happen. It’s hard to change it because it becomes who you are even if you don’t want it to be. We have to make a conscious effort and be conscientious of how we’re acting and even thinking because that will lead to how we act.
I’m addicted too heavily to social media and need to cut down big time. I’m not getting anything from it I’m just zombie scrolling carefully curated images and that’s not good for my heart. You’ll feel worse about yourself but can’t put down the phone. Jealousy and envy can easily creep in.
I’m trying to not pick up the phone as much as I usually do, I give myself set times to check it and then put it down otherwise the next thing you know I’m monotonously scrolling for an hour or four and haven’t done anything productive or beneficial. I have to do other stuff to keep me off of it like writing, reading etc otherwise I’ll be back on it in a flash.
It zaps your energy, I watch videos on youtube and read posts and think to myself “I want to do that!” but then I’m just sat there, phone in hand.
Take smiling, I never smile, most people in London never smile in the streets at strangers but why? It just makes us miserable and becomes the culture of a society. When you smile even if you’re not happy or feel like smiling the muscles trigger something in your brain that releases the good feel chemicals, you feel good and it benefits you and others. In Islam, it’s even considered a charity & a good deed. So I want to smile more and make it a Good habit.
It means for me not reverting to my usual reactions which are bad when it’s easy to, it means to be a better me.
What we Consume will Consume us
There’s too much information on the internet and there are too many shows for us to watch on Netflix, TV, Amazon, Disney etc and now we can choose what we want to watch when we want to watch it. We don’t have to wait for it, we don’t allow ourselves to get bored we constantly want to be entertained.
I have to be very selective with the content I consume and the people I follow on social media. There’s a lot of bitter people on social media I realised when I read their stuff. I started feeling like them, negative, bitter an example are The Red Pill guys they look at relationships and women in such a bad way, it’s a horrible outlook to have on relationships let alone life.
There are good people I benefit from with good motivational & inspirational actionable content. Content that makes me learn or see things from a new perspective, but you HAVE to be very selective and weed out the fakes and the frauds, the insincere and the scammers, there’s tons of them trying to make a buck out of you.
I was watching Firas Zahabi a top BJJ coach to UFC champions like George St Pierre, he was talking about going to the gym is a such a habit for him that he doesn’t think twice about it, he just gets up and goes. You know the feeling when you have to work out, you have to motivate yourself, a lot of the time you really CBA especially in winter when it’s freezing cold but he’s made it such a habit he doesn’t even think about it. This is a Good habit.
The trick is he makes his workouts a fun time not stress or pushing himself too hard. I’ve not looked at exercising from this perspective before & it’s shifted my mindset about HOW I exercise.
A Planned Day
For me to have a good day full of good habits is to have a planned. I’m busy with young kids I have to plan I’m not that spontaneous I like to plan.
It starts with prayer, stretching, reading, eating healthy, having meals planned and prepped to get my mind right and my body. I have to go to bed early and wake up early and get sleep. I have to get the kids in order, the house in order and so many other things.
I need to exercise otherwise I don’t feel good and feel lazy and sluggish. It gets my mind right and releases all the feel-good chemicals. Especially as you get older, you need to be fit with kids and you want to do all the activities with your kids also. I get very busy like everyone and most of the time can’t get away to exercise so I try to do a little at home, it’s a start, Mandela did it in a prison cell for years that’s my motivation.
When you build up good habits like reading Quran every day, doing dhikr daily, praying tahujjud (night prayer) listening to lectures, it not only makes your day run better, you feel better and if you don’t do it something is missing from your day, it’s not complete and it keeps you from falling into a lot of nonsense.
It takes a while to get it to become a habit and something you do regularly but keep at it. You will stop and start, you will get demotivated but a way to stay motivated for me is consuming good content and producing. As Nipsey said it’s a Marathon and it continues with or without you so you might as well make it with your best self.
We’re creatures of habits but we don’t want to be slaves to our bad ones. I watched a video on youtube about breaking the feedback loop of social media and the dopamine hit we receive from scrolling and receiving notifications and it works.
You have to do it for yourself for a better you because you can’t pour from an empty cup as they say. I’ll be writing a Blog on Self-Love in the New Year.
May Allah make it easy for us to achieve our good habits and may it be a great and beneficial 2020.
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